Toddler Pandemonium

So....did you know that, even though it has been a very, very long and busy day, and it feels like God is smiling on you when a wild 2 year old has a nap at 5:30 in the afternoon, it is NOT a good thing? Unless, of course, you like to watch CNN (or endless reruns of "Friends"), until 4 AM.



Did you know that a three year old can actually dive into a normal bathtub and displace almost all of the water into a 5 X 8 foot bathroom (with overflow to the basement) and still have enough water left to do it again?


Did you know that a 34 pound 3 year old can only lift her 28 pound brother by putting him in a headlock and lifting him by his neck?


Do you know that the same 2 year old who had the 5:30 PM nap, can pitch his bottle at least 14 feet before it hits the floor and rolls another 12 feet, completely out of reach of the Grammy who is(foolishly) trying to rock him to sleep?


Did you know that a screaming 2 year old can run almost as fast on his toes, as an (also screaming) cat trying to escape through the kitty door with his tail in tact?


Did you know that a 3 year old girl is unable to even consider sleeping, without her pink princess blanket, matching pillow and pink bottle of water? God help you if any of those things are in the wash or otherwise missing, unless, again, you are into the endless reruns of "Friends", thing.


Did you know that sometimes a Grammy drags a mattress into the living room for a sleep over with the grandbabies, just to keep everybody in sight? Did you also know that a three year old can jump from the very top of the back of the couch right onto that mattress and roll across the hardwood floor without losing consciousness?


Did you know that the same bottle throwing 2 year old, with the late afternoon nap, can get the drop on his sleeping sister by straddling her back, grabbing her by the head with both hands and pushing his sticky little face into her hair?


Did you know that "Tree House" runs 24 hours a day? One might wonder who on earth would be watching Dora at 3 AM, but now you know it is a Grammy who let the kid have a nap at 5:30.


Did you know that even when you are positively certain that it is at least 2:30 am, it really can be only 8 PM and the clocks have not even been tampered with?