January 2, 2011

Okay, okay...I know, that because my New Years resolution is to stay current on my blog, I am still writing on the high of that promise.  Three days in a row, so far, we shall see how long I last.  New year or not, I remain the queen of disorganization and the best of intentions.
I have been feeling very sentimental today...."gonna take a sentimental journey" as the old song goes.
I think it is because of another year having passed, but also because of the loss, 2 years ago, New years day, of someone I considered to be my mentor, someone whose heart beat to the same tune as mine.  She and her sister, my two aunties on my dad's side of the family, both watched over me after my dad passed away.  I felt it with every step I took.  They are gone now and I miss them every day.  When the phone rings I still expect it to be one of them, even though their voices only play in my memory now.
I just read a facebook entry from the much loved granddaughter of my Aunty Lois.  She lives in her grandma's house now and her heart is clearly breaking from the absence of her nanna. If only she could know, that if her grandma lives on in anybody, it is in her.  She is the most like her. I hope that she is able to one day understand that the strong presence she feels of her grandma, I believe, is her nanna trying to guide her toward her own special spotlight. The place where only that one, very cool child, is meant to stand.  Even when she feels the most alone, she will always be surrounded by the love and support of her nanna.  She might not 'see' her, but if she stays open, she will 'feel' her trying to nudge her into a place where she is so desperately needed in this world.  Remember the fairy ring little one.  Sometimes the answers really do come from places of magic, especially when those places are steeped in never ending, love.